Apple Pie and Kittens
by SuperSillyStories
Summary: Dean Winchester one-shot for Carlos'sCupcakes birthday!


**_Happy Birthday Tiff! Okay so it's kind of hard writing a one-shot for you because you're kind of like the supreme Queen of stories but you know, I tried!_**

**_Oh and no one stab me in the face I haven't written anything supernatural related since middle school._**

**_Eh actually if people don't like it you can kiss my asshole._**

**_BUT YEAH HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIFF_**

* * *

"I don't think a sex toy screams 'I love you, happy birthday' to your girlfriend, Dean." Sam scoffed as Dean grinned with his arms crossed over his chest as he examined the selection of toys. "In fact I don't think you'll find anything decent in here."

"Who said it was for Tiff?" Dean tossed his head back and glanced at Sam over his shoulder, "It's not healthy being backed up Sam, I figured we'd get you something to take care of that." Dean grabbed a purple dildo and quickly turned to smack his brother in the face. Sam's jaw clenched and he quickly slapped the dildo away while Dean cackled and put it back on the shelf.

"Dean that isn't funny! You can't just—"

"Blah blah blah…." Dean spoke over him and continued down the aisle while Sam huffed and quickly stalked behind him, "Dude, relax a little! We need to get you laid. You know I'm sure she has a friend—"

"Dean you are not setting me up with one of her friends we've been through this already." The younger brother rolled his eyes and glanced to his left to see a girl examining a whip. She looked up and shot him a wink, and Sam blushed and looked down at his shoes.

"Yeah well, you need something to keep you busy." Dean muttered and rifled through a few hangers until he found just what he had wanted. "What do you think?" He grinned while holding up a tiny red and white school girl outfit.

"I don't think those are your colors." Sam told him, watching in satisfaction as Dean's grin fell.

"Real funny Sammy." The older Winchester shook his head and carried the outfit to the register. "Whatever, she'll like it."

"That's not the only thing you're getting her, is it?" Sam leaned on the counter while Dean signed the receipt with a fake name, this time he was Marvin Burkowitz. "I mean, it's her birthday after all, not yours."

"Pft, I'm getting us some pie too!" Dean added and smiled at Sam who just shook his head. "What? Not good enough?"

"I'm just saying man it seems like this is like a birthday gift for you, not for her." Sam told him. He pushed himself off of the counter and then followed Dean to the car.

"Dude, my presence in bed _is_ a gift to women. But don't worry I got something else up my sleeve." Dean grinned while opening the car door, "You forget Sam, you're dealing with the master here." He winked while his brother rolled his eyes before the both of them sat down and slammed the car doors shut.

* * *

Tiffany yawned as she entered her house and locked the door behind her. A long day meant throwing a frozen pizza in the oven and plopping down on the sofa with a drink and binging on a show with Netflix. She dropped her bag on the sofa as she went into the kitchen but stopped in her steps as she noticed an empty beer bottle resting on the counter. Once her hands were on her hips and her head fell to the right, Dean's arms came from behind her and wrapped around her waist as he rested his chin on her shoulder. Although, he quickly had to move his head back because she was startled and tried to attack him. "Easy tiger! It's just me; you didn't lock the door when you left." He told her while rubbing his hand over her tummy.

"That is NOT funny." Tiffany turned around with a pout and smacked him in the middle of his chest. "I thought you were working on a Wendigo case out in Utah or something and someone broke into my house and decided to help themselves to a beer!"

"Well you clearly were going to kick someone's ass." Dean laughed in her face and rested his large hands on her waist, "But yeah…I lied, I had to see you for your birthday." He shrugged and kissed her, pulling away as soon as he realized she was sinking into the kiss, just so he could have the satisfied feeling of watching her pout and try to pull his face down for more.

"You think you're so cute sometimes." She rolled her eyes and stared up at him.

"Oh I think I'm adorable." He grinned and let go of her waist to grab her hand and pull her to the sofa. "Anyway, before we chow down on that apple pie for dessert I got you a little something. Happy birthday Tiff." He grabbed the black and pink gift bag and dropped it on her lap before plopping down beside her and leaning back against the sofa. Tiffany smiled and reached into the bag, then chuckled when she held the skimpy bits of fabric. "That's my favorite part of your gift."

"Is my gift to wear this and do a little something for you?" She raised an eyebrow at him, "Seems like it's more like a gift to you." She teased.

"Oh baby you know I'm going to treat you well tonight." Dean winked at her and lifted his leg to rest on his other. "That's just a little something cute I thought you'd like."

"Well I do like it, thank you Dean." She smiled and leaned over to kiss him. "Should I wear this now or later?"

"After pie, definitely." Dean nodded and then snapped his finger. "Shit, I have something else for you just give me a minute to find it." He muttered and quickly got off the couch, and after a few steps he bolted and ran around the house.

"Nice…" She chuckled and shook her head with a smile as she laid the outfit against herself. Sure, their version of a birthday celebration was different compared to what most people thought a celebration should be. Well to be honest, considering Tiffany spent most of her free time wondering if Dean was okay and waiting for his texts, well this simple celebration was good enough for her. "Dean what are you doing?"

"I'm getting your gift!" He yelled in response and a couple of minutes later he was walking into the living room, casually holding a kitten in his hand. "Personally I'm more of a dog person but your house is too quiet. And you like these little things." He told her as sat down on the sofa. When his butt was planted on the cushion he extended his arm out to her and put the little tabby cat on her lap. "I think its name is Button or something."

"Button? Oh that's so cute!" She grinned and picked up the kitten and held him close to her chest. "Oh he's adorable Dean! Thank you! I'm surprised…a kitten for my birthday? I thought I was just getting your dick tonight."

"Yeah well you know, gotta keep you on your toes." He smiled at her and watched her play with the kitten. "Alright so you met him, now let's get that outfit on."

"…But he's a baby I need to give him more attention." She shook her head and kissed the kitten on his forehead.

"…I knew I should have waited until _after_ we had sex and pie." Dean muttered and watched her cuddle the furry little animal. "As soon as that thing is asleep you're mine."

"Actually Dean it's my birthday, _you're_ mine." Tiffany smirked and winked at him.

"…..oh don't tempt me."


End file.
